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Ten Things Highly Successful Women Would Have Done Differently In High School
“What is behind you and what is before you pales in comparison to what is within you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
About a year ago, I read an article written by a mentor to a young man. I found it interesting because I am interested in learning from my own mistakes and those of others. I pay close attention to the success of young women in high school, and I thought it would be interesting to find out what some of the most successful women would have done differently in high school. High school is truly a pathway to future success, and I always support hard work and high achievement.
I conducted a survey and asked 60 high-achieving women what advice they would give to current high school girls who want to achieve success in their lives as well. My list of successful women includes Supreme Court Justices, several CEOs, CFOs, law and medical professors at the nation’s most elite colleges, and women who have reached the pinnacle of success in their fields. A president, a governor, several senators, a champion athlete, an Academy Award-winning actor, and a Pulitzer Prize-winning author. It took me about a year to reach out to these women and compile their responses, but I was amazed at their willingness to share their experiences and advice with me. It was also interesting that many of these women shared similar responses. In my previous research, high school girls who successfully received this advice graduated from some of the most elite colleges in the country. It may not have any scientific relevance yet, but it’s an interesting result. I have posted it in other posts so I encourage you all to read it.
Here are the top ten things these high-achieving women would have done differently in high school and the advice they shared, in order of most responses:
1. Never give up on your dreams, dream big– Your dreams inspire you to work harder and set goals to achieve great success. By the age of 35, these women spoke about how they deliberately chose hard-to-achieve goals, such as becoming a partner in a prestigious law firm, becoming a professor, becoming a Supreme Court justice, running for governor, or winning. Just because a state has never elected a female governor before doesn’t mean it can’t happen. If you believe in yourself, you can do it. Anything is possible if you focus, work hard enough, and stay away from high school distractions. Many of the women interviewed told me that looking back on high school, it was a small part of the big picture and that they focused on the long term rather than the short term. In high school, they advised her to stay away from acting, negative peer pressure, and follow her own unique path.
2. Learn to say no– Do not pretend to be someone you are not; Be yourself. You’re not out to please the world, and you shouldn’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. No is a powerful word, and if you learn it now, it will pay off in the future. They also explained that it’s better to excel in several areas than to be spread so narrowly that you can’t excel at any one thing. They also reiterated that parents are right, listen to them and don’t ignore their advice and opinions because experience is important.
3. Success and money are really the result of hard work, courage and determination– Sorry to burst your bubble, but there is no free ride or luck that will get you to the top. It’s all about hard work, persistence and dedication. These women focused on the bottom line, worked longer hours and had more networks than their peers. They were willing to take risks, work harder, and pursue higher levels of education. What is interesting is that these women sacrificed something today for a greater return tomorrow. Respondents cited their exceptionalism and desire to continue to achieve as the driving force behind their success.
4. Stay away from people who say you can’t– The main advice about this is don’t let other people judge you. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you, what you think about yourself makes all the difference. It is this strong sense of self that will guide you in the direction and choices you must make in determining your future endeavors. Keeping toxic people out of your life allows you to focus on success and achieving your goals. They also advised not to give up on what you are passionate about. Many people have said that they regret not playing the piano or any other instrument, and that they cannot find the time to learn it today. Time is precious and it is recommended that you pursue a hobby or passion that will enrich your life later.
5. Complaints will never get you anywhere, let them go– It is important to understand that everyone has their own opinions and beliefs, and should not be offended or avoided, but should be the basis for discussion and learning. Forgiveness has produced great leaders like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi, who understood that by forgiving those who have held you back and hurt you, and forgiving yourself for those who have hurt you, you become less toxic. It robs you of your energy, drive, and confidence. Basically, it reduces your control. Learn from the past and embrace the future.
6. Take care of yourself right now– Research continues to show that what you do when you are young can have very bad consequences in old age. Now is the time to change your healthy lifestyle. Along with avoiding smoking, drug use, and alcohol abuse, exercise and a healthy diet are essential to living a longer, happier, and more successful life. Get at least seven hours of sleep a day and try to avoid driving. The respondents said that these bad habits appear in their 30s and 40s, and prevention is key.
7. Be curious and take risksRabindranath Tagore famous quote: “One cannot cross the ocean by merely standing and staring at the water.” Any reaction requires action. If you don’t take advantage of your opportunities, you will never reach your goals. Every decision involves risk, but you have to win. In fact, you’re not in the game without taking risks. Take the road less traveled – these survey respondents said it made a difference in their lives.
8. Failure is inevitable, but it can make you stronger-One thing these women have in common is that they have at least once been denied something they wanted so much. Everyone took this as a signal to work harder, and this defines their great success. Each of your failures points the way to your ultimate success. Michael Jordan, considered the greatest basketball player in history, was cut from his college team several times and said, “I failed over and over again in my life. That’s why I succeeded.” How can you know what success is if you haven’t experienced failure? These women are encouraged to accept their failures and work harder to achieve better results.
9. Study, study, study– Give up video games and reality TV and make time to improve your grades. It’s hard not to let social media invade your life, but you have to. The difference between valedictorian and salutatorian often comes down to one high school class. Colleges like to brag about the number of valedictorians, often offering more scholarships and admissions. Students who work hard and succeed in high school learn to set high expectations and demand great results from themselves, which in turn become lifelong traits. As Socrates eloquently said, “Wisdom begins with wonder,” begin by pondering and exploring.
10. Apply to the college you really want to attend– According to Johny Hersh, a Vanderbilt economics and law professor who has researched and published on the topic, students from lower-ranked undergraduate schools rarely transfer to top-ranked graduate schools. Even worse are those who rarely reach the earnings of their peers who attended elite colleges. It’s tougher on women – A junior college grad who attended a top law school earns only about 60% of what a lawyer with a bachelor’s degree from a top college earns. Christopher Avery, a professor of public policy at Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School, has published and studied college as a form of social movement. Students who earn degrees at elite colleges, even those with subpar grades and test scores, are so far ahead of those who don’t that they never catch up. The networks, resources, and teaching methods of top schools are unmatched by other colleges and set the path to success. The most elite recruits go to the most elite colleges. Recruiters often prefer to select candidates from the elite colleges they attended. The takeaway here is to work hard and get into the best college you can. This will make a difference, according to respondents and research.
It was an interesting and thought-provoking project for me. As a high school sophomore with two high-achieving sisters currently attending elite colleges, I’ve seen firsthand how making the right choices in high school can affect future success. We hope this list helps guide you to a life full of possibilities.
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