Love Will Come And Find Me Again Piano Sheet Music To Love or Not To Love – That Is the Question

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To Love or Not To Love – That Is the Question

Four years ago I was single and unhappy…looking for “The One” like so many of us. Of course, I had great ideas about what “shape” she should take. I had a long list of qualities, values, and physical characteristics that this all-powerful being would have that would make him a good mate. I knew it was open to expansion and growth. I was willing to ‘allow the Universe/God’s guidance, in short I was willing to try anything.

I submitted profiles to popular dating sites and went on dates, some with attractive men, some with great men, some not so good. Many times I vacillated between hope and despair…but I did not give up. Keep going and keep the channels open and I know that eventually my prayers for my spouse will be answered. I smile now when I think about it, because I had no idea what was going to happen. I didn’t know the future journey and the work I had to do to fulfill my dream. Most of all, I hardly knew what was right for me … I realized with gratitude and humility that fate knows more than ever who my future spouse will be …

We met on a dating site. He possesses some of the qualities on my list, such as being musical, playing the guitar, playing the piano, and writing songs. Enough to spark dating interest. He wasn’t physically attractive to me… I was very unique and “typed”, but I went along anyway. It didn’t get any better as the date went on. I was immediately angry. Still, she was easy to talk to, and when she looked straight into my eyes, I could see a warmth that meant “something.” However, I was looking for “slap me in the foot” and that’s definitely not the case. He decided to leave without promising to meet again. We said goodbye and he looked at me and asked if I wanted to see him again. I was afraid of how to politely say this without disappointing him… I had been going over it in my head for the last few minutes. And then a strange thing happened, and while my mind insisted on saying no, I found myself shyly saying, “Yeah, okay.” I chased my cross, I was upset with myself, I am a strong woman, I pride myself on being real and honest, what on earth possessed me?

That was to be the nature of our relationship for the next three and a half years… I had one foot out the door all the time, not cruelly, but I was often skeptical of the relationship. I’ve “finished” it many times, but after a while I greeted him at the same door with disappointment. This man was caught very quickly, and I knew that if he gave me a little time and space, he would eventually be able to return to the “eye”. I don’t mind admitting my frustration, the constant doubt in my mind… to love him or not? To act or not to act… I was constantly in two moods, it was very uncomfortable to be. Native Americans say that this place is a disease in the human mind and causes mental instability. I agree, it’s scary, I didn’t find out the truth of the situation. One moment it’s amazing, the next I feel like I’m subconsciously “taking him on,” when in fact I’m no more committed than I was on my first date. It was very painful for both of us. He knew how he felt, but he tested me again and again by refusing. I was on the verge of giving up many times. I suspect he wanted to leave too because it was way beyond what he had endured in other relationships, but when I think about it, love doesn’t give up… Love, that’s why the Bible says, “Hopeth all things.” putting up with things and everything’… Nothing but love.

This wonderful man was disabled and lost his leg at the age of sixteen. It never bothered me, I knew it from the beginning, and the interesting thing is that I often didn’t register. I’m still not telling another story. It wasn’t a factor in my uncertainty. I was a fit, healthy woman and it didn’t make any difference to me, I was very independent… I didn’t need a man to do DIY etc. Looking back now, I’m sure we both needed those years. . Intensive learning process. Laying a solid foundation. Shadows and fears wrestle side by side with deep knowledge of each other. Tried and tried to understand through many emotions and experiences. It might have been going on for a long time, I don’t know, until something important happened to change things.

I was sick…actually I had been sick for several years without even knowing it, the disease slowly became chronic and disabled. I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It hit me hard. I can’t run the show by myself anymore (interesting choice of words)… I need help most of the time. Especially during shock. Of course, my partner is always there, patient, caring and understanding. He knows firsthand the frustration and pain of not being able to physically do all the things he once did. In fact, who can understand better? He even understands the pain itself, which is not unlike the Phantom Pains he sometimes experiences. My perspective on relationships has changed as I appreciate the blessings in my life and the things I can feel and do. Indeed, our relationship has changed beyond recognition; he is now fitter and more capable than me. He is more capable. It was a bitter pill to swallow for a proud woman for a while, it was horrible, I pushed her away with frustration and unhappiness, this time I thought it was unfair for her to be with someone so limited, so sick. A woman who has always been independent and strong, I often wondered about this injustice … suddenly every day, little or no energy, chronic pain and fatigue. I still occasionally roll over and am not a very good patient. I’m angry because of the constant pain, I hate asking for help, I want to be the same. I push him away from time to time, but if I’m being honest, even if it’s less convincing…it’s more of a norm, a habit of declaring that I can, and can do it alone if I have to. I could… but I don’t want to… He doesn’t notice as much these days, he reads beneath the signs and backs away, but emotionally close, giving me space and showing me the patience I’m capable of. just dream of being.

Now, at this point, you can be forgiven for thinking, “What a selfish woman, she needs him now, she’s changed her tune,” and I think on one level it’s a funny way of brushing off a hard life lesson. I have thought many times myself! However, I see the gift much deeper. I saw in his eyes the same warmth I spoke of before, that I might never have known if my illness had not overtaken my problems. A painful childhood and past divorces added layers to my problems…I was a tough cookie to crack. I sincerely doubt that a lesser man could have stayed this way. This man who had lost everything and had become patient in his youth was different. It was a rare breed because of its handicap. He was the ONLY ONE who possessed the necessary staying power. How I love him for that. I can find a guardian to help me if I need to, but I can’t live without the bond between us that has developed over time. A bond built on trust, loyalty, strength, wisdom, and endurance. A connection that inspired us to create a dating site dedicated to honoring people with disabilities, both physical and mental (often both go hand in hand). A unique site that allows people with disabilities to date people who are fully aware of the challenges they face. It’s amazing how we can share our experiences and inspire others in their pursuits as we discover our own talents and ever-blooming loves. Now we are getting closer every day. We see another gift developing in the opening years. This is a kind of magic. It amazes me… my problem, the first ego-driven list based on what I wanted rather than what I needed. It’s funny… my man is perfect in my eyes. Perfect for me, that is. The universe knew what I needed better than I did. Now the sky is the limit. Our new commitment to each other is opening doors we never dreamed possible… This site is just one of them. Every day we discover new aspects of our relationship. Moving forward has given us the rare privilege of seeing beneath the surface the hidden gifts of what we have together. We’re the lucky ones…most people can’t get past the initial hurdles of getting to know each other well and bonding…like lungs! Most people think, as I did, that love at first sight has to fall right between your eyes, and for some people, that’s exactly what it is. But not to all. Certainly not for me. It took something special to break through the walls I had built. I needed strength that I had never experienced before. I admire that beautiful strength, it’s true that we are strong in different areas and in different areas, but the strengths and talents we discover compliment each other perfectly. After four years this journey is just beginning in many ways and as new as this site is… and I believe it is not a coincidence, but the same beautiful hand of fate guiding us. We look forward to sharing our continued insights into our journey. We look forward to sharing new inspiration with you.

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