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I Regret Cheating And Would Do Anything To Get My Marriage Back, But My Spouse Is Moving On
Most people who cheat on their wives express remorse. They know what they did was wrong. And they feel very uncomfortable when they think that their mistake will cost them dearly. Honestly, sometimes dealing with the loss of a spouse completely affects what they do. So when a spouse tells you that they don’t want to save the marriage and that they are going to move on, the feeling of regret is at its peak.
The wife said: “I’ve never regretted anything except cheating on my husband. To be honest, I can’t believe I did it. I didn’t want anyone to find out. I think it was my way. Say goodbye to my first love when I rejoin the military. I knew we’d never see each other again. And I knew he might be in trouble. So I went out with him and kissed him. Goodnight and one more thing. But I knew he’d be leaving soon so it wouldn’t threaten my marriage. I knew that. Well, the guy told his busy sister about it, and he told my husband. He confronted me, and I thought he was going to lie, because honestly, there was no evidence, and it was my word against his sister’s. But when I saw the look on my husband’s face, I just couldn’t bear to lie to him. I almost wanted to, because to be honest, everything cost me. My husband is a part of me. He said he didn’t know what he was going to do. o. He stayed at my house for about a week and then said he needed time away from me. I’m sure he stayed with his mom, but I’m not sure because he wouldn’t answer my calls. Meanwhile, I was texting him asking for advice. “I need more time,” she kept replying very quickly. So I fully realized what a mess I had gotten myself into all this time of not being able to contact my husband. I knew I was wrong, but the loneliness that built on that knowledge made it worse. I knew that the longer my husband was gone, the less likely it would be to get him back. I started texting her asking if she was dating other people. He said he hasn’t dated other people yet, but he won’t rule it out because he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forgive me. So I just left him alone and gave him time. And then last week he called me and said he wanted to tell me himself that he had “decided to move on.” He said that he was going to file for divorce because he met a man who wanted to have a relationship with him. This is my worst fear – he’s finally moving on – he’s finally saying the words. I am full of remorse. I know it’s my fault. I can’t blame my husband. The worst part is knowing that it’s all out of my control. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to make it better.”
I think there’s always something you can do. You can work on yourself. Let your husband know that you will stand by him if he changes his mind. Believe it or not, this happens sometimes. Sometimes people break up, even divorce, and their spouses start dating other people. But as time calms things down and allows us to see more, things change.
Only you can decide if you are willing to wait or move on. If you want to wait, I believe that the most effective way to do this is to treat your spouse as someone who always cares about their well-being, not to focus on changing their mind.
It might work something like this. The next time you talk, say: “I’ve been thinking about you moving on, and while I understand your motivations and don’t blame you, I will always value our relationship and take responsibility for changing things. I will forever regret hurting you and jeopardizing what we had. I don’t blame you for how you feel or what you’re doing. I’ll do anything to change it or give you a second chance, but I understand how you feel. I have a lot of work to do and I’m going to keep going. If you let me I want you to know that I’m always here for you. I know you. Tell me you’re moving on, but you’ll always be very important to me. If there’s anything I can do to help you, please contact me. I hope.”
Sometimes you just have to let it go and wait. Your spouse may be watching to see if you’re really working on yourself, so make sure you are. Keep doing your own thing and be open and available if your spouse wants to reach out. You never know what will happen, but it usually takes time. If the time comes, you want to make sure you’re as recovered as possible. Until then, strive to be the best you can be. You don’t know what’s going to happen, but you can’t go wrong with improving yourself.
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