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My Spouse Admitted That He Isn’t Attracted To Me After His Affair – What Can I Do?
Sometimes I hear from wives who are desperate to save a marriage that has been destroyed by cheating. Often, they feel that they have to fight almost to keep their cheating spouse from leaving. Many people are so overwhelmed by this process that they are willing to do almost anything to make it happen. Somewhere along the way, they sometimes lose their sense of self. They start to worry that they won’t be able to keep their husband because they aren’t good enough. Their beauty, sex appeal, and attractiveness level is often a big deal. Sometimes it is because the husband caused the problem.
From a wife: “My husband cheated on me with a woman at work. It went on for almost nine months before I caught him. I was angry, but I knew early on that I wanted to save myself from the marriage. Even though my husband was wrong, I still love him. I don’t want a divorce.” .I want him to stay with me.We can work it out.At first he didn’t want to stay.He didn’t.He won’t answer me straight away to know what he wants.Last week he told me he would let me sit and stay.But he told me to be honest. He said it happened because he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. He said my looks didn’t matter to me anymore. It hurt me more than the relationship. I admit I don’t look like I used to. When we got married. But god I have two kids to take care of. I rarely go to the gym. I’ve never been a high maintenance person who wears tons of clothes. clothes. And my husband seemed to like my low maintenance side. But the woman he cheated on has a very altered and fake appearance. So now I’m asking myself if I should look more like him instead of being more like myself. Obviously, I need to woo him back. But how far should I take it?” I will answer these questions in the following article.
Realize that attraction doesn’t depend on your looks: I know when someone tells you they’re not very attracted to you, your mind immediately starts wondering what’s wrong with you. As a result, you may look in the mirror, examine yourself closely, and try to check things that someone else finds unpleasant. But before you do, consider that attractiveness isn’t just about your looks.
I talk to a lot of men about this very topic, and when they talk about attractiveness, looks and physical attributes aren’t the only things they list. They find confidence attractive. They find understanding attractive. They like women who take the time to fully understand themselves, and love them all the more for it. They like it when you take the time to understand what makes them tick and then enthusiastically suggest it.
I know that might sound a bit unfair. But when you think about it, women aren’t that different in what they find attractive. Although we value character and kindness a bit more, we also like someone who is confident and takes the time to learn what makes us gel. We want someone who makes us feel like a better version of ourselves. Men are really no different. When you take care of yourself and stay true to yourself, you show that you value both.
So before you think you have to make drastic changes to your appearance, know that it’s not always what he’s looking for. Sometimes it’s best to compare yourself to who you used to be, especially if you’re a mom or have a very full plate at the time. Because sometimes when we juggle too much, we lose ourselves a little. We lose the fun, life-hugging, passionate person we were. It has nothing to do with how we look or your weight.
Change only what you think is necessary: It’s very common for a woman in this situation to make a drastic change and wonder what’s wrong if her husband doesn’t immediately respond in a positive way. They don’t understand her husband’s reaction because they think they gave him what he wanted. But do you know why I think it won’t? Because it’s obviously not real. It’s fake because you were doing it for someone else. And it didn’t hit the target.
It is recommended that you think carefully before making any changes. You want to change something that you always wanted to improve. I want to make sure that whatever you change is something that was bothering you, not something that will bother him. The reason for this is that the changes will be real, they won’t stick, and they will make you feel more confident than less.
I know you fear that this lack of interest could end your marriage. Panic is normal. But try not to. Because panic leads to desperation, which usually makes him less attracted to you and makes it worse.
In fact, the opposite should happen. You need to develop a confident attitude and give her the impression that she is very lucky to be married to you. Because not only is it true, but if you can pull it off, it’s often very attractive.
It may seem impossible, but it is not. Take time to focus on yourself. You have to be the best version of yourself. You need to find out why and how you love. Honestly, you can’t show it to someone until you feel loved and attractive.
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