My Headphones Are Not Playing Voices But Only The Music What Does Civility Mean to You?

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What Does Civility Mean to You?

If you are faced with the situation below, how would you complete the rest of the sentence “That person is…”?

The following conditions should be considered.

  • You are sitting somewhere. Someone sits next to you and starts playing music on their cell phone…without headphones.
  • Or maybe the person is wearing headphones, but the music is so loud that they can hear every beat and every word.
  • Follows the person entering the store. The man pushes the door open and lets go – right in your face as you’re about to enter.
  • Your restaurant server will throw your food on the counter or table…or maybe throw your money at you.
  • Someone is talking loudly on a cell phone in a bus, elevator, or other enclosed space.
  • You get a job as a telemarketer. The person answering will ask you, “Are you a telemarketer?” then hangs up after saying yes. Or they’ll spend the next five minutes yelling at you about how they skipped dinner.
  • You are walking with a friend. You hear some really loud music approaching you and turn around to see a car approaching fifty feet behind you with the windows down. As a car, you can’t continue the conversation and have to wait until they’re about 30 feet away before continuing the conversation.
  • As the elevator doors begin to close, you yell, “Wait!” shouted. You glance at your watch to see a man standing inside doing nothing. Worse, the person is waving and smiling at you as the door closes.

How would the person’s actions make you feel in each situation? Are you angry or perhaps angry?

How do you complete the sentence “That person is…”? Did you use words like “rude” or “uncivilized”?

What does civilization mean to you? What specific acts or behaviors are “civil” or “uncivil”? What is it about the act that makes you feel uncivil or immoral?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about what civilization is. Today I’ve come across a blatantly rude incident to provide the perfect example to share with you.

Here is the situation:

I was calling a prospect. Whenever I call, if I have the extension number, I usually give it to the recipient so they don’t have to go through the extra effort of looking up the extension linked to the name. This is a practice I have followed for twenty years in business. This call was no exception. I gave the receptionist an extension number and… she hung up on me.

I thought it might have been accidentally disconnected, so I called back and asked to renew it. This time I got a resounding “No” before the receptionist hung up. No explanation. No question. Just disconnect.

How strange!

This type of behavior would not have been tolerated in any of my previous jobs and I will not tolerate it in any of my employees. Why? Because of course it is rude and uncivilized.

What is civilization in general?

The dictionary defines civility as politeness or civility. “Uncivilized” is impolite and rude.

While you may not have someone hang up on you for unknown reasons, there’s a good chance you’ll encounter cruelty in many other small ways that we tend to overlook, like the examples above.

I made that list based on conversations and personal experiences about what people consider impolite.

The way I judge behavior as immoral is to imagine (or recall being) myself in that behavior. I, or how did I feel?

I’ll admit to driving around with the windows down and music blasting as a teenager. It wasn’t until years later that I came to appreciate that not everyone loved music as much as I did, or disturbed their peace of mind when I passed by. It’s rude to me because people can’t avoid listening to music when cars drive by. Now, if I want to turn up the music, I close the window.

Some people may not think it is impolite to have a loud conversation in a closed space. After years of traveling by train and bus, I feel so rude because I can’t escape a loud conversation like a passing car. Whenever I travel, I try to speak in a low voice. If I need to talk on the phone, I put my hand over my mouth and receiver; This way the sound will go to the receiver of the phone and will be muted by the people around you.

As far as telemarketers go, it was one of my first jobs as a teenager. How rude people are to a stranger was clearly demonstrated by the behavior I encountered when calling me. Why should a stranger not be respected? Of course, interrupting dinner can be annoying. So, if the phone rings during dinner, don’t answer it and let the car take over. Or sign up for a “do not call” list (which is usually free) to avoid telemarketing calls.

Can you think of other examples of common wickedness? Or better, examples of civil behavior? We can only make the world a better place by thinking about how our actions affect the people around us.

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