What Do You Call A Person Who Makes Music Beats Safe Touch – A Key to Good Mental Health and Relationships

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Safe Touch – A Key to Good Mental Health and Relationships

I believe that any educated and sensitive massage therapist will tell you that you meet people who are more genuine in their expression than they are in an office setting. Even the same person is more authentic and gentle in a safe touch massage situation. Minimal clothing, the soft sound of a water fountain, lavender, orange, sandalwood or other essential oils, and music seem to not spoil your mood. Everyone needs a safe touch to be comforted and unjudged.

In my experience, we live in an insensitive culture. If you touch someone at work with an encouraging “well done,” you may be courting office mischief. Pat your back as a comforting gesture or hold your hand and say “I care about your feelings” and you go to jail!! Touching in our culture is suspect and often threatening. I’m not advocating for someone to accept the hand of someone they meet just because it’s well-intentioned or harmless. But in most cases, the baby has gone with the bathwater as usual.

I followed James 5:14-16 and laid hands on people as a pastor hoping to bring the desired and promised results. “Is any of you sick? He must call the elders of the church and pray for him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

I have done this thousands of times and have respectfully observed that it is not, in my opinion, a cure for anything important. However, I am sure that sometimes, because of some people’s reactions, the touch itself was deeply appreciated and meaningful. A church or pastor who relies solely on “it’s in the Bible, God said it, I believe it, it works for me” is foolish, and a truly sick person may need professional help. I saw it in my past career and it was hard to talk about it, but I wasn’t just for the grease.

A kind, purposeful, educated touch seems to liberate a person from the masks we all wear. Everyone wears a mask. It can overcome subjects that we cannot talk about or even think about. During massage, people become more open and some sometimes want to talk about what they are thinking. Some people may want to talk about the office environment, the company, or their boss, but when they do share, most are just about touch and why people are afraid of their own thoughts and needs.

“Need” now has a word for you. Our Christian culture has defeated the idea of ​​needing something valid from needy people. Decades of preaching after preaching have equated it with being selfish, carnal, or unconverted and “of the world.” Just tell the pastor, “I need it,” and his repression will often bubble up and you’ll receive a lecture about how the Bible says this or that, “doing nothing out of arrogance or pride, but in humility.” Each one should esteem one another more than himself;” Phil. 2:3 (ASV) We should esteem others more than ourselves, and all things related to our own worth, what should others do?

Everyone should be safe. One client, a long time ago, I was working on them, was very quiet and suddenly said, “Isn’t it funny that my dad never hugged me?” We talked about it for a bit, but I knew that this was the way I, a stranger, had never hugged her father, who knew her well, and touched her. “I don’t think I’m gay,” he said after a few minutes. It was also a no-brainer. Here’s how it worked in his mind. “I like this touch.” “Dad never hugged me.” “Yeah, I like it, it’s a guy!” “I’d better tell him I don’t think I’m gay. Curious? For him, the touch really meant there wasn’t any, but needed to be addressed. I’m not gay, by the way.

One of the things people need more practice with is the phrase “I need.” It’s not selfish or rude. It’s human nature and what brings relationships to a more real and authentic level. How many relationships would be improved and even saved if we learned to say, “You don’t have to talk to me like that.” “I need you around more often.” “I need you to touch me like you care for me.” “I need to hear what I’m thinking in order to change.” “I need to make space.” “I need variety in my life.” “You need to take better care of me.” “I need you to keep the people who don’t like me, the crazy relatives, the stupid boss, and the damn church out of our conversation.” “I need…” Try it sometime and see if others need it too. They didn’t know you didn’t know anything about needs.

Others speak tangentially about things they don’t need in their lives. No need to grab them or push them. No need to roughly slap or pinch them. They don’t need to be used and unloved. I think that is another topic.

Masquerading as sexual themes is a big deal for EVERYONE. While touch is inherently therapeutic, all massages are sensual. In a safe and compassionate environment, many people think about where they are or aren’t in their sex lives. Human sexuality, the need to express and experience it, never goes away. The Bible says that when Moses died at the age of 110 (it may or may not have been) and “Moses was a hundred and ten years old when he died – his eyes did not grow dim, nor did his natural strength fail; …” This is what he noticed, It’s a coded way of saying you can still be excited. How they knew that, I’m not sure. He probably bragged about it. But this is an ancient way of proving that the person is not dead and was really alive until they died. A lot of people I meet feel dead because they don’t have any touch or sex in their lives.

Many religious types dismiss this aspect of human need as purely selfish and carnal, but it is perfectly normal and necessary for a healthy life. To this day, the most extreme sex religion ignorance I’ve ever heard is always praying to God that we don’t feel this, unspeakable power that we have to have sex with our partner just for the sake of sex. Way… no other explanation. I’d say the partner is somehow looking elsewhere.

On the other hand, people who are very devout and loyal to their church, but listen politely to the authority figures who give “God’s view” on these subjects every week, can say they don’t care what the minister has to say. Their sexuality is not a church issue, and it is not. I see many faithful believers who struggle against what they have been taught, or what the church has not taught them. Much of what the Bible says about human sexuality is wrong and harmful to people. It’s an old-fashioned, Middle Eastern perspective that makes them look good, but that’s probably the goal. It creates many types of fear and depression, including shame, guilt, fear, and anger. I have yet to meet a client who isn’t afraid, angry, or worried or depressed about something that is too risky to express. Think about it.

I love my gay clients. There is probably no human being that is honest, open, and compassionate. They have an adaptive nature to it and often have experiences that reinforce the benefits of being and thinking. They also faced a lot of rejection, many of which they would never face again, and authenticity issues. The person I know is gay, not by choice, but by nature. No one tries to be awkward, nor should they. Everyone is a real person who knows more about themselves than most people dare to explore. I think about a friend from the Church who was “cast out” and gave me a video on how not to be gay. If they could not change and the video did not convince them, they would not be accepted in the church. Needless to say, the video just didn’t work. I once asked a lesbian client why she came to me, well… a man! I knew the history of abuse and was just wondering. He said the best thing I’ve ever said to me. “I feel safe because I like what you do, and you’re the only man who will touch me again.” Wow.. but he wouldn’t let me use him in his ad.

Everyone needs safe access. Touch tends to send its message subtle but loud and clear. The client knows if I am not in the massage by the sense of touch. One of my clients told me that if they wanted a 90 minute ride instead of an hour, they would tell me later. In my opinion, what and how to do the massage is becoming clear, so I want to know now, but I just said. “Let’s go 90”, I put my hand and made a half pass behind him. He said he knew he wanted to go longer when I touched him. Nice compliment. It was a touch.

Sometimes they are so stressed and angry that they just feel that way without saying it. It is more intuitive than felt. I have a bad feeling and it will last a long time. Sometimes you just can’t put your “finger” on it, but you know that all is not well. That’s how touch works too. It’s just the energy people give off that will let you know before they get close enough to touch you. That’s why we feel great or bad when certain people walk into the room. They reach us, even if they don’t reach us.

So think about how and why you touch. A lot of people’s mantra is, unfortunately, “don’t touch me,” and that should be respected as well. I believe obesity is a subliminal “stay away from me” message. Research shows that 80% of obese women have been sexually assaulted. Sounds high to me, but probably close. Even if it’s not soft enough to use the term ILEBENH, it dies much faster and survives surgery. Not our partners, our family members, our children, or even ourselves. Observe how other people comfort and touch themselves, our brains subconsciously tell us to comfort ourselves when we need it.

So… did you soften anyone up today? Or allow it if you need it. Courage is right, without drama or condemnation. “More touch, less missile is what I always say to my clients.” They laugh and always say “isn’t that true”. Yes.

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