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Nine Ways to Cope with Loneliness after the Death of a Loved One
At different times, loneliness is a scourge for young and old, prisoners, homeless, children, shut-ins, rich and poor. No one is immune from his hands. It can be caused by many conditions: abandonment, death, divorce, alcoholism, geographic displacement, lack of communication (collective loneliness), lack of human contact, to name a few.
Loneliness manifests itself in various forms: cognitive (not being able to connect with people of similar intellectual interests and values), behavioral (having nowhere to go or doing things), and emotional (believing oneself to be unlovable, being alone, etc.). without emotional support). Sometimes mourners suffer from all three.
Here are nine ways to combat loneliness and change your perception of it.
1. Create your inner life. Most experts on loneliness agree that the basics of managing it start with self-development, strengthening your inner life, realizing your importance, and loving yourself. Specifically, improve your ability to spend time with yourself and then with others. Make your speech more positive.
Start by changing your belief that loneliness is something external: it’s basically something we do to ourselves. Most importantly, we can reduce our feelings of loneliness once we create it.
2. Acknowledge loneliness and talk to others. As with all other issues, get it out in the open. Talk to other people who have had to deal with it. Be a role model for someone who lives alone. Ask your church, school, community center, or friends for help. Read. Work for it. Start your anti-loneliness program with a big promise: “I’m taking action.”
3. Work on reducing social isolation. Loneliness is a major stressor due to the lack of human contact. Start looking for ways to meet others. Join a bowling league, square dance club, book or Bible club, library or medical assistance. Go to brown bag lectures, women’s centers, athletic clubs, and start studying your favorite subject. Go to various interest groups. Volunteer. Touch.
4. Improve your social skills and develop new friendships. You can never have too many friends. Always start the conversation. Become an expert at identifying and meeting these four needs that everyone wants, including you: attention (using the person’s name when talking on the phone, meeting them, remembering their birthday, etc.), recognition (regardless of the person’s appearance), appreciation (thank you notes), and sincerity praise), affection (hugging, smiling, saying I love you).
We all have unique needs but very similar needs. Become an expert at developing multiple behaviors that meet these four needs.
5. Control your negative self-talk. How you talk to yourself about who you are and what you think about yourself can either increase or decrease loneliness. Loneliness is caused by our thoughts and attitudes. The power of faith that you can reduce loneliness is immense. Tell yourself you will beat this.
6. Identify the times when you are most lonely and start rearranging your schedule to fill those hours as much as possible. If weekends are the worst, schedule things you can do to fill that time.
7. Beware of beliefs and myths that maximize confusion, discouragement, and loneliness. Here are a few that have permeated our culture. I must hide my fear of being alone forever; Something is wrong with me feeling this way. I will not be loved. Nobody wants to be my friend. Others who live alone are doing very well. Group fun myth: fun only happens twice or more. The myth of the perfect friendship: a good friend agrees with you on everything. Throw this garbage away.
8. Develop independent activities that you can enjoy every day. There are many things you can use as part of your daily routine. Yoga, Tai Chi, painting, art work. Plan your daily stress relief with Ocean Audio Tape Sounds. Read. Play a musical instrument. Send e-mail. Most importantly, walk. Download music or interviews to your iPod to listen. Renew every day by being in nature.
9. Start making discoveries immediately. Success is doing things that someone you love or others have done for you, that you should do for yourself, or that you have never done before. Here are some made by other mourners. Fill your own gas tank and take your car for maintenance; take a day trip; eating alone in a restaurant; throw away the garbage; plan ahead to get through the bad days; try “pet connection”; Go on an Elderhostel tour; watching movies alone; plan a party: for yourself.
Celebrate after a successful launch. Tell yourself you’re making progress, changing, and proud.
Again, in the final analysis, you can transform loneliness into solitude and social isolation into meaningful relationships with others—every day. The moment you wake up, you can choose your attitude for the day. Embrace the attitude of taking action to relate, touch, and heal. It requires effort and smart choices. Investing in others will make you less lonely.
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